A Letter On Masculinity

Courtesy of Wix Images. A man looks out at the great expanse of the night sky above him.

This post was written as a response to an article written by Richard V. Reeves, as shared by my connection Amri B. Johnson. You can find the link to that article here. I write this article as someone who agrees with the overall premise of this work. What I hope to do is expand further on the topic.

Dear Reader,

Acknowledging the shortcomings of a system can be disheartening. In the constant stream of social media and television, it's challenging not to feel discouraged about the numerous injustices in the world. Today, I want to address the lack of support that men are experiencing in our everyday society.

Let me clarify that I'm not diminishing the massive inequalities women face. What I'm pointing out is that, as a broad demographic, men are often overlooked in discussions about masculinity, femininity, women's rights, and other social movements. While men hold positions of leadership and influence, a pervasive issue persists: many examples of masculinity set by our leaders lack healthiness and wisdom.

The disparities between men and women, the stigmatization of femininity, and the resistance to social justice stem from various sources. Some oppose it because social justice activism is making a substantial difference. That kind of hostility is there and we must recognize it. Others however, harbor resentment not because of who the movement furthered but rather who it left behind.

History offers ample examples. In the women's suffrage movement, the interests of Black and Brown women were often overlooked by first-wave White feminists. Similarly, poor individuals in various circles were left behind. Trans women and non-binary individuals often find themselves excluded from gender-focused spaces. People with physical and mental disabilities and illnesses are often treated as an afterthought, if they are considered at all. Men, too, are impacted, a concern raised years ago but unfortunately overlooked.

In his 2014 article, "Men and Boys and the Ethical Demand for Social Justice," Samuel Vincent Jones highlights how existing conceptions of American society perpetuate social issues. He argues that portraying the majority of men as victimless and empowered, and most women as victims and disempowered, is neither fundamentally nor morally justified.

Recognizing historical disparities and understanding lived experiences is crucial. As underrepresented groups and women push for recognition, they face violent pushback from those who would see to it that all of the efforts that have been made be rolled back. Some concerns however come from genuine criticism, particularly from activists who observe resolutions and legislation pitting the privileged against the underserved.

I want to reiterate that holding privileged individuals accountable is essential, but intersectionality is a tool to understand how identities shape realities. The patriarchy dehumanizes men, women, and those outside the binary. Raising men solely based on narrow definitions of masculinity and femininity undermines healthy relationships and a society respecting everyone's rights. We bemoan the lack of forward-thinking leadership from men that we need and yet look at what we are witnessing. Our society upholds the dangerous behaviors of leadership as something to celebrate. We also celebrate the expression of some of the worst behaviors that a person can commit and attribute it to masculinity.

bell hooks emphasizes the need to raise loving men for social justice. The same system that undermines women also harms men, perpetuating the notion that men are only valuable within narrow societal confines. It's crucial to expand the notion of men's duties to include recognizing and appreciating the contributions of women, trans, and non-binary individuals. She wrote, "Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity."

Both men and women can perpetuate toxic cycles, as hooks points out. Women in positions of power can be abusive, contributing to the violence and degradation of marginalized groups. hooks wrote, "We need to highlight the role women play in perpetuating and sustaining patriarchal culture so that we will recognize patriarchy as a system women and men support equally, even if men receive more rewards from that system." It was after all a White woman who weaponized her Whiteness and her femininity to incite the mobs to torture and murder young Emmett Till.

However, we can also draw inspiration from those women who fought against injustice. Leaders like Mamie Elizabeth Till-Mobley, who sought justice for her son Emmett Till, demonstrate the strength needed to confront systemic issues. While Till-Mobley grieved for the unjust killing of her son, she made a statement. As the world grieved for her son's loss, she decided to have an open-casket ceremony. There, the world witnessed the atrocities that were inflicted on him before his death.

Understanding the vast inequalities between men and women and embracing intersectionality is crucial for meaningful dialogue. Hearing the voices of the overlooked, both privileged and underrepresented, is essential for a comprehensive understanding of the challenges ahead. Bearing witness to humanity's trials is a shared responsibility, and our collective existence is at stake when some among us remain unfree.

Sincerely,

Justin Cobb