On Renting
There is no crisis in the United States or the world that also doesn't impact LGBT people. While certain segments of the LGBT space are privileged with wealth...the fact remains that for many of us, it is still financially difficult to secure places to live. A lot of us-- especially the young-- rent for most of our lives. It is such a major crisis in our community that there is even a Broadway musical dedicated to our plight. (For those of you who would like to learn more about that you can check out a link here.)
The struggle of renting is a powerful one. I have been renting since I was eighteen-years-old. While it is one that impacts our heterosexual counterparts it is extremely impactful on LGBT folks such as myself. I am speaking from personal experience. Even now as I am writing this blog post I am in the process of securing a new housing. This was not by choice. I am looking for a new apartment because my lease was broken by my landlord.
Since I moved into the apartment there have been issues with it. First it was the kitchen appliances not working. Then it was was pests of the furry and the creepy-crawly kind (yes...it was mice and roaches). The straw that broke the camel's back was the plumbing. Back in February I first noticed a puddle of water that showed up beneath and in front of the washer (which to have on-sight is a privilege for sure). My housemates and I had to literally hassle our landlord to get plumbers to take a look at it and to confirm that the plumbing was the issue but this was recognized three months later. However... we quickly learned the next day that our landlord-- instead of hiring people to fix it and asking us to go away temporarily-- was instead going to evict us. His reasoning: between the plumbing and the "extensive renovations" that he wanted to do...he would rather not inconvenience everyone. (The irony is not lost on me.)
This message was sent to everyone. This was despite the fact that most of us still had months left on the lease. Because my landlord decided it was inconvenient for him to rent to the current tenants...we all had to go. Immediately I started investigating what my rights were and quickly realized I even had to fight for my 30 days notice because the date he wanted me out was only 26 days away. The man tried to pressure me to sign a paper saying I would move out sooner but upon the advice of my loved ones...I refused. There was not much else though that could be done to help me. Under the period of the 30 days notice I had to move or risk facing an eviction.
Searching for another place to rent was stressful. Quickly I found out through personal experience just how much the value on property in Maryland, DC, and Virginia went up and realized that there was nothing within the original price range that would give me the same value (which to be fair was not much). It was a sobering reality when I realized after already enduring hardships from the pandemic and other previous ones...that I was going to have to again adapt for further economic strain. Regardless of what property I rented...I would have to probably pick up another job (or two) in an already struggling economy. On top of that...I have to dip into what little savings I had for this move. This includes paying more for the rent itself. On top of that I have to make sure I pick a spot that is close to my job because like many renters I don't have a vehicle (and no-- I do not have any desire whatsoever to own one). It also means investing more time to figure out how I can obtain enough money for my eventual move to New York City to be closer to family.
The housing crisis is an issue everywhere including the United States. Despite laws set in place for tenants, the weight of the laws still mostly benefit corporate developers and landlords. In recent years as the cost of living continues to rise...many of us are forced to move into apartments that cost more money and provide less value. When we do find apartments of value...we have to find ways to make up for the hefty price-tag that comes with it.
This crisis is one that impacts everyone. It is more than just somebody not having enough money and being on the streets. It is also the fact that every day people who are not loads of money can't afford to spend their money on activities outside of paying the rent. We have people who are living paycheck to paycheck. They cannot afford their medical expenses. Some people can't buy food. Nor can they afford their hobbies and leisurely activities. They can't even invest in themselves and their professional development. Instead, they are caught in the same cycle working one to three jobs (or more), sleeping what hours they have left, and then repeating.
The quality of leadership we have had in America and the world over the years has been pitiful. Current activism regarding the housing issue has been less than satisfactory. The people deserve better. Every day we are lied to about the conditions we ourselves are experiencing. Things may be getting better...but for who? Every day we hear promises about how if we vote for this person, or work harder, or sacrifice the small things that give us pleasure...everything will change. It's the same advice that doesn't work because the system that we are relying on is not functioning. There is only so much a society can take before things get out of hand. Already we can see the impact of civil unrest. Rather than addressing the issues... the answer is usually more "law and order" and the restriction of our basic freedoms.
In order for ordinary people to get anywhere we need to have an address. You can't apply for a job without a residence. You can't open a bank account without a residence. You can't apply for financial assistance without a residence. The amount of exploitation that happens to those without an address is just as-- if not more--dangerous than the natural elements.
My generation is shamed for our inability to purchase homes. Many of us played by the rules that we were told would make us successful. Yet we are still struggling to get by. The bargain that was struck with us is not being upheld on the other side. We studied, we did well in school, we worked ourselves to the bone to fulfill our obligations. Soon student loans will be kicking back in and we will be even further behind. Some of us live with family members to help cut down on expenses. For others such as myself though, that is not an option.
I am a refugee of rural America. People like me fled because our families were not supportive of our sexuality or for whatever reason. I don't just mean the awkward discomfort at the dinner table. I mean as in if the wrong person finds out about our identities then our lives are literally at risk. Some of us also relocated because we had no choice. Some of our families loved us but are unable to support us financially. The moment I could, I fled an abusive environment that would have stifled me and forced me to live a life that was inauthentic. The ones who did support me gave me all the love in the world but they could not guarantee my physical or financial well-being. That was something that I had to do for myself. Despite the obstacles facing us financially...those of us who fled have one thing that many back home do not...and that is peace of mind.
I can't speak for everyone. But with this peace..I can explore ways to build more freedom. and prosperity. When I do find something that works...I can share it with others.
With this freedom comes the burden of supporting ourselves and knowing that ultimately our fate lies with us. Mom and Dad are not even on the list of Back-Up plans. A rich relative can't save us every time we have a financial struggle. What we do have is ourselves though and as long as we discipline ourselves we are our most reliable resource. It means sacrifices, it means humbling ourselves and being vulnerable, it means adapting as needed. It also means venting, creating, and processing a lot of the baggage that we are carrying around.
We live in a world full of hatred. We live in a global society that only sees the value in us based on what we can afford. We live in a system that chews us up and spits us out and repeats. Yet I am reminded that it is not what happens to me that defines me. Who we are is a reflection of how we respond. In these moments I can freeze and let the weight of the world consume me or I can be resilient, and live.
I can be resilient. I can adapt. I can make sure that wherever I go I am building home for me. I can build my own sense of prosperity that is not dependent on the narrow view of others.
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