Poem for Father's Day

This poem is dedicated to all the people out there, for whom Father's Day is tough. I see you. You too, are worthy of love.

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My father…

Was the breadwinner of the family 

He was the one who drove our Trailblazer 

Down those old country roads 

With the clouds of dust kicked up behind us! 

So picturesque! 

My father took me to church 

Told me to read my Bible 

Put my faith in Christ 

Go to Sunday School!

Christ has risen! 

Don’t you know it? 

He taught me to load a rifle

And shamed me when I didn’t want it

Told me to grow some hair 

You know where…

An American ideal! 

My father was also…

The one who took out his insecurities 

On the ones who were closest to him

His choice was a boat oar 

I can still feel it, still hear it

Thwap! 

Ego is a clever thing

It fills the gaps and convinces you 

That it is the answer to life’s problems

It caught my Dad’s insecurity

The man was never drunk

He was always sober

Still he chose this

He hated himself

And took it out on others

Nobody taught him to see the bigger picture

Instead they told him that manhood 

Meant you had to assert dominance 

By any means!

Empires bully others into submission

They belittle and degrade those who choose

Not to go along with the ride and sigh 

With defeat and submission 

Because it is much easier to ignore shame

Than it is to seek forgiveness 

Than it is to turn over a new leaf 

Than it is to start again 

When your power only comes 

From those you can dominate 

It makes a sinister brew 

One that can leave you askew…

Ungrounded from the truth 

Men are taught to feel superior

To those that are considered feminine

Because weakness and shame

Are easier to pin the blame 

Rather than reconcile your emptiness 

Oh!

I’m writing this so others will see 

How easy we can get lost in categories

If our insecurity goes unreconciled

Our history will only repeat 

I sit up at night and pray for my father 

My father chose authority 

Because he had so little in his life 

Nobody taught him to own his power 

No one taught him accountability 

What narrative are we teaching?

The vicious circle keeps turning 

Yet today is a new day 

Perhaps it will cycle on 

But I am loved so much 

I was taught right from wrong 

So the narrative stops here 

We are not going to the next chapter

We are not turning one more page

This story is old and stale 

No 

This time I will do different

These cycles end with me 

The curse I break is mine

You don't define me any longer!

I choose the truth! 

The vicious circle turns

But it ends with me 

Here is a new book 

This is my pen 

Time to get to work!