Poem for My Mother (Mother's Day)
My Mother is beautiful
She once had thick, wavy hair
Browner than the trunks of the sturdiest trees
Her glasses framed her face for years
Those ages are starting to show in her now
My Mom's hair grows silver with every year
There are days that I witness it grow sleek
Yet still her scrunchies keep it from her face
My Mom's eyes are green
They are one feature we do not share
Yet from her I got thick long hair
I keep praying with every year it will remain
I carry her image in my own reflection
Her freckles dot my nose
She and I have the same mouth
Wide, long and proud
Loud when necessary
It is the same kind of mouth that learned to be silent
For see she and I both learned from an early age
That children were supposed to be seen and not heard
Or else angry hands will catch you
It is the same mouth that when we were brave
Certainly got us into trouble
We were both vilified and punished for speaking out
Against the men in our lives
Even when we needed to be seen
When we needed to be heard
When we wanted to belong
Her journey and mine were so similar
In many different ways
We both wanted to encounter love
We craved to be understood
People always used to say that my Mom was smart
She got good grades in school
She was the oldest of five
A big sister to all
A leader in her own right
A caretaker from the start
My Mom did not perform company mergers
Nor did she bring the greatest sale
Nor did she broadcast her life
For all of her followers on social
No
My Mom gave up her career before she had me
It was what people expected of her
Even as the time goes on
It's still the same song
My Mom was a child of the Nixon era
Raised Republican from the start
She watched a President resign
Early in her lifetime
My Mom remembers Walkman
She used to play Atari
Tetris was her game of choice
She once played with dolls
Even back then she knew she wanted to be a Mom
My Mom grew up with the unease from her family
The War on Drugs was a necessity
Reaganomics was king
That's what she was taught and told
Yet simultaneously
People failed to acknowledge the threat
They told her that her punishments were just
The beatings were necessary;
Insults hurled from those drunken nights
Cringeworthy
The trauma
Wrought from insecure masculinity
”But a necessity”
My Mom grew up afraid of her father's wrath
She witnessed his hands hot and angry
She could still feel the blow
Even when it was no longer there
My Mom was taught that she was unworthy
Nobody else better lay his hands on her
Yet her father could
And he did
My Mom was smart and did well in school
She dreamed of working for the music industry
As the years went by
She learned how to lie and survive
Even as the years passed by
She was brought up in the world
She tried to seek her fortune
She picked up secretarial work
My Mom still remembers short-hand
She was the one who could budget
It was her gift who led our family
Through some of those hardest days
My Mom came from a small town
Her heart belongs to the land
Though she dreamed of going places
Her heart still brought her back
My Mom knew my father when she was young
My father lived with his aunt in North Carolina
When he returned to Pennsylvania
He saw her and asked her out
Their first date was a Christian concert
Fernando Ortega was the performer
"This Good Day" still plays in mind
It reminds us each day is a gift
My Dad loved that he was Christian
But my Mom loved his soul
My Mom didn't realize
Her connection to the land shares more in common
With the people who first came from here
With the people whose skin tones
She was taught to fear and suspect
My Mom is a quiet woman
Then you get to know her
And the childlike joy;
The kind that can fixate on small things
She enjoys Pepsi
She came of age in the eighties
She went to SUNY!
She had me in her twenties!
Mom's last “job”was at an antique shop
Her father worked there before her
It was a different side to him
There was another for her
When she was pregnant with me
She was terrified
My father was leaving her
She was in over her head
My Mom struggled in her journey
She gave it all up to become a Mom
The world shames her decision but to her
Raising her kids was worth more than enough
More than any career
My Mom's story was not easy
The sacrifices that she made go unheard
I was her child and it took years later
While my life was falling apart in front of me
To fully grasp everything that she endured
The sleepless nights, the rattling cries
Those long and arduous fights
With the men that she was surrounded by
The same ones that taught her
That this was all she deserved
She could not afford to leave
They kept her in a box
Watching my Mom resist made me cry
I didn't understand why
Or how this would affect me
Until I started leaving home
My Mom's love is all spent
She gave all that she got and more
Than what she had to give
My mother is a living embodiment of our Earth
Dry, depleted
Hot and cold
Yet something inside still alive
Waiting to be recognized
Hoping to be understood
My something inside so strong
I now realize comes from her
This same woman with no job
Who still defied the man
My Mom
Who fought for me
Who fought for family
Who fought for she?
Who fought for custody?
Who fought for alimony?
Who fought for liberty?
Who fought for me?
My Mom
Who showed me the way
Who taught me right from wrong
Who taught me I am my best champion
She taught me to speak up
Even when it was uncomfortable
Even when it challenged her
Even when you risked disappointment
My Mom and I knew the highs and lows
We both braved life's events
That humbled us and made us wiser
Scenes that made us kinder
My kindness starts from her
My courage begins with her
My wisdom comes from her
My passion originates from her
Mom
I owe you a debt of gratitude
I can only fathom the weight
Of the decisions laid before you
You didn't have it all
You didn't know it all
You sacrificed it all
You endured it all
The world was stacked against you
Yet you brought forth three worlds
Each one unique in its own way
Yet they all bear some semblance of you
I must do right by you Mom
It is the least that I can do
For all that you went through
To bring me forth in this life
These moments are precious
This gift is ours to own
I can't throw it away
Nor bear it going to waste
Your kindness to others
Shines through the fog you were taught
I challenged her further
Because I believed in her
We are the choices we make in this world
Not the categories or our labels
Every day is a new one to start
Don't you know you are worthy of love?
Some day you will look back and see
The life you lead
Bearing out in front of you
I'm part of your legacy!
Mom I learned from you to be strong
That our society is misguided
That our world is worth protecting
That there is right and wrong
So thank you
For being my Mom
For being my example
For being my beginning
Love,
Your Son
